Most of us don’t like to think about death, whether it’s our own or the passing of a loved one. And there’s no secret that it’s hard to have those types of “what if” conversations, right? But the reality is that when losing a loved one, you’re not just grieving the loss of a long-time partner who will no longer be there to help pay the bills or keep up with yard maintenance, cooking, and social activities. You’re also trying to step into a new reality. It’s difficult enough to cope with the giant void in your life but then mix in all the decision-making, and it’s a lot! That’s why it is vital to plan.

For a more in-depth discussion on this topic, we’re proud to share this recent panel discussion, “Going from ‘We’ to ‘Me’ – Losing a Spouse: Facing the Reality,” featuring our President, Angela Wright. This event was hosted by Realtor and Senior Moving Specialist Dayna Wilson as part of the Savvy Senior Living Seminar series. During this 90-minute presentation, Angela, alongside her co-panelists, shares insights on how to be better prepared financially and emotionally, what planning ahead should look like, and what local resources are available if you find yourself becoming a “me,” whether expected or not.

Some things you’ll learn from this video include:

  • What challenges are people facing when “We to Me’ scenarios arise
  • Why you need to need to talk about finances even if it’s uncomfortable
  • How to have a clear understanding of what your situation will look like if you were to become a widow or widower
  • Why you should be very specific with your wishes after you pass away

And more!

When it comes to planning for the future and putting contingencies in place, so many things get overlooked. Even if you have a plan in place, it’s good to revisit and consider if any changes need to be made. Bottom line, now is the time to get your affairs in order to ensure a smooth transition for those you leave behind.

Top Take-Aways from Angela’s Discussion:

  1. Have the hard conversations! Sit down with your spouse and talk about how to pay the bills, ask where the passwords are and who to call when the pool equipment breaks down. And, talk with your children. Tell them specifically where you want to be buried and what happens to all of your belongings. It may not be fun, but these talks will set everyone up for success if or when the time comes.
  2. Know who has what. It’s vital to understand all your sources of income, where it’s coming from, and how that might change when your partner is incapacitated or gone. Are you going to be able to maintain your lifestyle?
  3. If you’re scared about talking with your loved ones, or aren’t getting the information you need, speak with a trusted professional. Grab your financial paperwork, estate documents, or whatever that is, and just go!

Time-stamped Show Notes:

0:00 Introduction

7:30 Listen in as Angela introduces herself to the audience, sharing a little bit about who she is and what Del Monte Group does.

36:07 Start listening now to hear what Angela has to say about titling and naming beneficiaries on financial accounts.

43:04 If you were to pass away, are your digital assets easy to access? Would your spouse or loved ones be able to get into your accounts? Angela shares some interesting insights and a client story about breaking into an online account.

50:46 What challenges are individuals and families facing when it comes to this “We to Me” type of scenario – if one spouse becomes ill, incapacitated, or passes?

53:23 Money is tricky, many of us were taught not to discuss it, but this is one tip Angela recommends if you are struggling to have this discussion with your spouse or family.

54:02 Knowing who has what and what all of your income sources look like is critical! On top of that, you must have contingencies in place to ensure that if something does happen to yourself or a loved one, those left behind are taken care of. Listen in as Angela provides key insights.

56:22 Do you have end-of-life care built into your advance planning? Or will you end up draining your life savings?

56:35 Do you have a clear understanding of what the tax changes will look like if you are a widow or widower?

57:39 How specific are your wants and needs for what happens to you (think burial) and your belongings after you pass away? Will your family members be fighting, or do you leave them with clear-cut instructions? Listen in now to discover why this is very important regarding your estate and finances!

59:19 Press play here for a DMG “Pro Tip” about having a conversation with your kids. Sit them down and say this is what’s happening.

1:01:52 Sure, your spouse might have a life insurance policy, but how much is it for? Let’s discuss the importance of why you should always “trust but verify.”

1:01:22 How early is too early to notify financial institutions when someone passes away?

1:18:16 Q&A: How do you know when you need both a certified financial planner and a CPA or tax attorney?

1:21:23 Q&A: What if your spouse just won’t show you how to do something (i.e., file taxes)? How do you get them to have the discussion or get things done?

Interested in having Angela or Richard speak at your next event? Give us a call and let’s discuss your needs! You can reach us by calling 925.736.6410 or feel free to send us an email at

“One-size-fits-all” won’t fit you here! The Del Monte Group team understands that everyone’s financial goals are unique. That’s why we always provide customized advice. No matter where you are in life, you can depend on our proven expertise to provide financial planning support for long-term success. Ready to get started? Schedule a meeting with Richard or Angela in our Alamo, CA based office today or we can meet via Zoom! >> You can select a date and time that works for you via our calendar, call us at 925.736.6410, or send an email to We can’t wait to help you!

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